Remember when you were a kid and you loved to play games? Hide and seek, forty forty, hopscotch – those were the days. It was a thrill just to be a part of the action and when you won, wow, what a rush.

Fast forward ten, fifteen, twenty years later to your current mature and single self and there could be no more unwelcome statement than this, “I think he’s playing games.”

Dating is meant to be fun, much like those childhood games and often play during the get-to-know-you phase can be welcome, cheeky and downright joyful. But there’s a whole other realm of game play that has many singles running for the nunnery.

I’m talking about players who play games without following the rules. The kind of games which end in tears.

From Mr Missing-in-action who professes his attraction on each of your dates then disappears for weeks at a stretch to Miss Drama Queen who tries to make you jealous by flirting with your friends, game playing in the world of dating is tricky business. So what’s appropriate and what is simply unacceptable?

Like any game, there are rules in the world of dating. Sadly, many of them are undocumented, unspoken and vary from one single to the next. You may consider my rules of not texting or calling boys too severe but your rule may be that he has to pay for all of your dates, a rule I generally don’t enforce. Regardless of the rules in question, often we apply them with the goal of keeping the game safe. I’ve learnt many times over that when I break my rules, disappointment and sometimes-serious upset ensues.

But dating is a game that involves two people and if there’s one thing we can’t control it’s other people’s behaviour. That doesn’t mean we shouldn’t stand up for ourselves when we feel our date’s actions are causing us discomfort. It’s simply a matter of knowing where to draw the line, which is tricky indeed. You don’t want to look like a nagging harpy berating him for not calling for three weeks after date number four but at the same time, you feel that you deserve more.

So when is game playing okay on the dating field and when is it not? Let me know your thoughts.

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